I took swimming lessons at the local pool when I was 12, and had to go through the men's :locker room" to get to the pool. I was uneasy about having to see as much as being seen. Which prepped me for 7th grade PE mandatory showers (or get paddled by coach). Being uncut I was afraid the other boys would make fun of me. Glad it did not happen. On the receiving side it was overwhelming to see over 20 of my peers in all their naked glory. It became routine until I relocated in the middle of 8th grade and had to go "cold turkey" without seeing anybody naked but myself. After that, I was never required to shower or even wear a jock strap, so not until college and a PE swim class. Wasn't much going on then, and in the dorm it was a single shower in a suite of four rooms. The curtain was so flimsy that it would blow around. If a guy was sitting on the john he could easily see right into the shower. That was when word got around the suite that I had a "donkey dong". Ever since, I enjoy showing off, and seeing what others have.

Years later showering at the Y I was stared at. My big breakout came in my mid-50s when I discovered I had a webcam and got naked with men all over the world. Freaked me out how within an hour I had made men on three continents blow their loads. The last, a black dude from the Bronx did not turn me on at first, but when I got him turned on, then he turned me on. I had known I was well hung, but that decade drove a deeper realization. Before that, I did not know what average was, and had I spoken out loud could easily have told a guy that he had a shrimpy dick when that wasn't at all so.

I strongly believe that men need to see other men naked at some time. It feeds us and reinforces our identity, whether we get off on it or not. I was appalled to find out that many men had never seen their father shirtless, let alone naked. My Dad made sure that I saw him naked. That could write another whole story. He would check himself out, not posing per se, but a healthy attitude.

I find it horribly sad and shameful that society is producing men who are such wimps about nudity.

Thanks for sharing all of that! Quite a journey from those awkward locker room days to where you are today. I think a lot of us can relate to feeling self-conscious at that age, especially when we're comparing ourselves to other guys.

I do agree that there's something nice about being comfortable in our own skin and not making such a big deal out of nudity. I'm a little more sympathetic to guys who aren't comfortable with it, though. We all come from different backgrounds, and I think everyone gets there in their own way, if they get there at all.

I especially liked what you shared about your dad. Sounds like he had a pretty relaxed attitude about his body, and I imagine that left an impression on you. Do you think that helped you become more comfortable with your own body as you got older?

I’m uncomfortable being naked around other men only because I fear they’re uncomfortable. 

That's an interesting distinction. You're not uncomfortable with nudity itself. You're more concerned about making someone else uncomfortable.

I think a lot of us take our cues from the people around us. One guy might be perfectly relaxed about being naked, but the moment he senses someone else is uneasy, suddenly the whole situation feels awkward.

Personally, I'm quite comfortable being nude. In fact, I prefer it when I'm relaxing at home. Fortunately, my dog doesn't seem to mind, although she's never been particularly concerned about wearing clothes herself! 😂

But I do understand what you're saying. Being comfortable with your own nudity doesn't mean assuming everyone else is comfortable seeing it.

I'm curious: if you knew the other men around you were completely at ease with nudity, would you feel just as relaxed?

I'm curious: if you knew the other men around you were completely at ease with nudity, would you feel just as relaxed?

Yes. If I knew the other men around me were completely at ease with nudity, I would feel just as relaxed.

See his "dad bod" through the years gave me a rough idea of what to expect as I aged. He would often sit at the table eating lunch shirtless and Mom would tell him to go put on a shirt, and he would stubbornly refuse. His appearance did not make anyone lose their appetite. As long as there was no company in the house, it was his prerogative to go shirtless. Doing yardwork in summer, often shirtless. After a bath or shower he would cool off/ dry out and then put a shirt on.

We bathed and showered a few times when I was five or six. Seeing his hairy naked body dripping wet, standing up from the water was quite impactful on me. I thought "Wow, am I going to look like that someday?"

Another whole side chapter is the fact that we urinated side by side often from when he first taught me how, until I was ten. I never got to ask him whether his dad did the same with him or not, or if it was his own idea. Either way, we bonded.

I did have a brief period of embarrassment when I was getting my first chest hair, first pit hair, or first pubes, because he would make a big deal of it with me. My embarrassment did not last long for chest or pits, and he never had occasion to see my pubes after I first sprouted.

I think your story gets right to the heart of what I was asking about. Growing up, seeing your dad shirtless or naked wasn't treated as something shameful or particularly unusual. It was simply part of everyday life, and it sounds like that helped shape how you came to view your own body and nudity around other men.

I especially liked your observation about seeing his body and wondering whether you'd look like him someday. I think that's an important part of this discussion. Boys naturally look to other men, especially their fathers, for some idea of what growing into manhood looks like. And that includes the physical side of things.

What's interesting is that you still experienced some embarrassment as puberty arrived, despite growing up in such a relaxed environment. So being comfortable with nudity doesn't necessarily mean you never feel self-conscious. It just means those moments don't have to become lasting insecurities.

And that brings me back to something you said earlier about men needing opportunities to see other men naked. I can appreciate your point, particularly when it comes to developing a realistic understanding of male bodies. I wouldn't go so far as to say every man needs that experience, but I do wonder whether we've lost something as ordinary, nonsexual male nudity has become less common.

Do you think your comfort today comes primarily from how your dad approached nudity, or from the experiences you had with other men later in life?

Except for junior high, I've always been comfortable naked around other men (women too, but I have had much less opportunity for that). I grew up on a farm. We had an out building that we called the 'wash house.' The washing machine and dryer were both in there, as was large industrial sinks that were used when we were processing chickens for freezing or putting up vegetables. Mom insisted that the building also house a shower stall. Particularly when he was harvesting soy beans or doing some other really dirty job Mom would insist that Dad shower outside and leave his dirty clothes in the washing machine. As a result, it was not uncommon for Dad to walk naked through the house to get to their bedroom for clothing. If my bother or I helped with the dirty jobs we were also required to shower and leave our dirty clothes. In junior high, I was a bit reluctant due to late changes in my body. I never did grow much in the way of hair anywhere, except on my head. When I was in 7th grade, there was a 9th grader whose gym class was at the same time as mine, which put us in the locker room at the same time. This guy was gorilla hairy. Most all of the 9th graders were hairy where you would expect, as were the 8th grade class. The other 7th graders were pretty much all showing signs of development, but I was a late bloomer. In high school and college, I was active in theatre and was never bothered by getting naked before getting into costume. Later in life, I joined a Wiccan group and i was always one of the first to get naked for ritual and one of the last to get dressed. Even for the winter sabbats, I was more apt to be naked when others were too cold. I've also been going to an annual clothing optional men's camping retreat, I'm quite comfortable being the only one that's naked sitting around the campfire. It's always nice when others are naked too, but if the social situation allows I'm quite comfortable undressing.

Thanks for sharing this, Cimba! I had to laugh at the story about your dad walking naked through the house after working on the farm. I can picture it! And I imagine nobody thought much of it. That's just how things were in your house.

I can relate to what you said about junior high, too. Good grief, what an awkward age! Everyone seemed to develop at a different pace, and naturally, we all compared ourselves to one another.

And your mention of theatre brought back some memories! I spent quite a few years in theatre myself, and you're right, modesty pretty much goes out the window. 😂

I also got a kick out of picturing you sitting naked around the campfire, perfectly happy whether anyone else joins you or not. Good for you! I think there's something really nice about reaching a point where you're simply comfortable being yourself.

I'm curious, though. Do you think getting older has made you even more comfortable with nudity? I sometimes wonder whether, as we age, we stop worrying so much about what other people think. I know that's been true for me in quite a few areas of life!

Posted by: @tony-admin

↑

I'm curious, though. Do you think getting older has made you even more comfortable with nudity? I sometimes wonder whether, as we age, we stop worrying so much about what other people think. I know that's been true for me in quite a few areas of life!

Not so much getting older, but having more access to clothing optional/naturist spaces. Being around a large group of naked people can really open your eyes to the fact that nobody really cares all that much if you're in great shape, or not so great shape; if you've got a big penis or a small one; etc. I guess being older has contributed somewhat, now that I think of it. It can be counter-productive to remain a prude in certain medical situations. I find I have more and more of those situations as I get older.

I couldn't agree more, @Cimba! For years, I frequented clothing-optional resorts and nude beaches, and what I always appreciated most was the wonderfully relaxed, nonjudgmental atmosphere. People came in every imaginable shape, size, and age, and nobody seemed particularly concerned about any of it. It was actually quite refreshing!

I think those experiences helped reinforce something I've always believed. Once you take clothing out of the equation, you realize how much unnecessary judgment we place on ourselves and each other. There's something rather liberating about being around people who are simply comfortable in their own skin, without feeling the need to impress anyone or measure up to some ideal.

And I had to chuckle at your comment about medical situations as we get older. You're certainly right about that! 😂 I suppose age has a way of making modesty a little less important, whether we're ready for it or not!